My past week has been horribly stressful.
I have had to ask people to let me stay on their couch. I am homeless. Growing up I didn't have a lot but I always had a home, parents who loved and cared for me, clothes on my back and food in my belly. This feels horrible. To be homeless, to have to ask my mom to sleep on her couch, my friends, to find rides, to try and sort out my life.
And the thing that sticks the most in my mind? This is what I did for other people. And they performed a Hostile Takeover and here I am. I am trying to make sure that in every house I step into my footprint is small. The amount of space I occupy is small. The stress I put on them is minimal.
I feel terrible having to IMPOSE on these people.. it is not what I want to be doing, regardless of the fact that Jaimie, Ryan, and Brian are my best friends and my mother is my mom. They all understand. But I still feel terrible.
I am so very blessed. These people love me, they care about me, they are amazing people. Others who know them only partially know their amazingness but they are amazing and I am blessed. I wish everyone had people like this in their life, but sadly I have watched people take advantage and burn bridges instead of appreciate those people who help them. I don't just mean my situation, I watched people do it to them as well.
I know I am blessed. I am forever thankful for these people in my life.
P.s. I know the fiance wasn't mentioned in this post, we are currently staying at separate places to help reduce stress where we can and so he can continue job hunting and locating a permanent place to live.. I miss him terribly and love him more...