Monday, November 7, 2011

I will not...

Gouge out their eye balls.. take a baseball bat to their knees. Tie them to a table and drip water on their chest. Make them listen to nails on a chalk board. String them up by their toes. String them up by pubic hair.. no.. I really won't do that.. nasty ass disease infested ickiness.. where was I?
I will not strip them down to a tank top and chonies and make them lay in an ice bath.. draw penises on their face in sharpie and send them to work..
Shank them.. shoot them.. stab them.. expose them to ebola.. run them over with my car.. laugh as they contract ghonasyphaherpaAIDS.. drop them on an island full of lepers... plot evil doings of any kind.

I will not be doing any of these things or worse.. cuz I am a good person. I am a kind hearted person. I gave people a safe place to stay, I trusted them, I would have gone to battle for them. They called me friend, family, sister. This is NOT what family does. No, I don't have the best example of what real family is and I know this but there is a reason my mini family has Christmas and Thanksgiving apart from when its normally done. It's the only time we see what real family SHOULD be. Not the drama of overly intoxicated parents or aunt n uncles who have made an issue out of a non issue. Dirty laundry isn't aired or judged, we don't try and have drama, we just want an enjoyable holiday memory. That is family.

All those things I WANT to do to the people involved in the Hostile Takeover but I will not. I will wait for karma to take its vengeance and raise her mighty bitch slapper and I will wait for my good fortune. I will stop expecting something instant. I will simply wait patiently knowing I must be granted good fortune and for doing the good things I did. For enduring all that I have. Everything from my childhood, which made me stronger, to my rape 2 years ago. I believe that something positive must come. A break. A step forward.

Life will stop kicking me in the gut. It will stop pulling my teeth out with pliers and no pain killers. It will maybe at least spit on it first? There is a balance. Laws of science and physics. For every action there is an equal reaction.

For all good, there must be bad and for all bad there must be something good.

I am praying for peace.


I realize I mostly only have like..2 people who read this.. so those who happen to stumble upon my blog, I apologize for my lack of shiny optimism. Some day I will get it back..


  1. lol never apologize for what life does to you but do know u have people who pay attention lol

  2. yes people pay attention... and yes... i was ranting a bit. i have made recent discoveries. post to come :)