Sanity. Months of focus and trying to calm myself and feel better and keep myself sane.
How fast it goes to shit when you talk to me. How fast my sanity runs out the door, down the street. How I instantly wish to scream and rant and rave and cry so hysterically and start pushing people away...
When I'm like this I don't know how to deal with them and no one knows how to deal with me. I realize I don't know how to deal with anyone.
I'm ready to run away again. Find home in another state, country, life time. Just... Away...
No home. No roots. No chance for pain whether created by others or myself.
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