Over the weekend I experienced what was probably the scariest time of my life.
The nurse giving me oxygen, fluids, a shot to stop my labor because I was only 5 centimeters dilated and my son was forcing his way out and his heart rate kept tanking. .. Really was super calm even though my son was at risk for dying. Even my brother assaulting me while pregnant, I was scared but I knew it would be ok because I had my husband.
This weekend I could have lost my husband. I still worry. I will always worry.
How do I deal with being scared? Finding an obsessive outlet.
Two words: Fantasy. Football.
Looking up all the players and whether or not they are injured, did they suffer an injury last season, etc. is the way I am dealing. Yep. Hours and hours of research and decisions and checking bye weeks and double checking by weeks. Hours. My brain is swimming with football.
It's ok though. I am in it to win it. Let's just hope I have some beginners luck ;)
I need something to make me stop starring at my husband wondering if at any moment it's going to happen again. I will explain what at a later date. In the meantime, I will obsess and obsess and obsess some more about fantasy. My dream team I am hoping wins me some happy money.
Until then,
*Breezie*
"Life is Beautiful"- Sixx A.M.
