Lots of New!

i have found i am missing the blog world. i found some awesome blogs to follow, but i got so far behind, its been difficult to fall back in. i felt lost the last time i tried catching up but i was also busy working a LOT more than i do now. so... i think im adding all my blogger back onto my phone and my blog app so i can keep up with you guys. not that i myself have that many readers although i have over 1000 page views!! i was pretty shocked to see that!

So... update on me. my miscarriage was devastating. i found myself being more judgmental with people who had kids. if they seemed ungrateful(like my neighbors often do) i found myself wanting to scream at them and try and make them realize how blessed they were to have a child at all... when i am a loving woman who wants a kid and couldnt have them. i interact with my nieces and nephews and have heard how i'd be a good mom, but i lose babies.. it is not fair.

Needless to say, I harbored anger. I was trying to let it go, spending time with the little kiddos in my life made me feel better and made my heart happy but i still had anger...

Christmas came... I got engaged. Again. This time is different. My whole relationship and life is different. In almost every possible way.

New years came... i was sick. and late -_-

And..... pregnant. Again. I cried. i was not and am not ready to be in that situation again. I was already 5 weeks when i found out. had my first ultrasound at 5 weels and 5 days and found a healthy little baby with a healthy heartbeat. i couldnt hear it but i could see it. i began planning ideas for a summer wedding and then we just decided to do it.

So a week ago, i got married. it was small, short, sweet, and to the point. the ceremony took literally less than 5 min and it was pretty much family. we are still having out big wedding and im probably waddling down the aisle at 8 and 1/2 months pregnant. im due on September 1st and i am getting more excited but trying really hard not to get that way too early. at this point i am 10 weeks. i had constant nausea since about 5 weeks and 3 days that subsided 4 days ago and honestly had me worried. my super tender boobs stopped being tender and i finally looked up stuff online and it said i am looking normal. lots of women stop their nausea at 10 weeks, it means my placenta is taking over the hormone stuff and nourishing my baby. i can only hope. 3 miscarriages and all of them before 6 weeks, the baby is the size of a plum and i dont want to imagine what that pain would feel like. ever. not again. the devastation my husband and i suffered the last time was so awful.

So, i am hoping this time... everything works. hopefully i have my baby as i am planning and my husband is now not joining the military, so i dont have to worry about him leaving :) i completely supported his decision to be in the military especially since it was decided before we got together but now i get to have him for my pregnancy and always. i  dont need to worry about him getting  shot or blown up over in Afghanistan or Syria or any of the other places that are experiencing conflict.


Until next time lovlies....

*Breezie*

"The Girl"-City and Colour